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!E-pub ♡ Sloppy Firsts ⚕ My Parents Suck Ass Banning Me From The Phone And Restricting My Computer Privileges Are The Most Tyrannical Parental Gestures I Can Think Of Don T They Realize That Hope S The Only One Who Keeps Me Sane I Don T See How Things Could Get Any Worse When Her Best Friend, Hope Weaver, Moves Away From Pineville, New Jersey, Hyperobservant Sixteen Year Old Jessica Darling Is Devastated A Fish Out Of Water At School And A Stranger At Home, Jessica Feels Lost Than Ever Now That The Only Person With Whom She Could Really Communicate Has Gone How Is She Supposed To Deal With The Boy And Shopping Crazy Girls At School, Her Dad S Obsession With Her Track Meets, Her Mother Salivating Over Big Sister Bethany S Lavish Wedding, And Her Nonexistent Love Life A Fresh, Funny, Utterly Compelling Fiction Debut By First Time Novelist Megan McCafferty, Sloppy Firsts Is An Insightful, True To Life Look At Jessica S Predicament As She Embarks On Another Year Of Teenage Torment From The Dark Days Of Hope S Departure Through Her Months As A Type A Personality Turned Insomniac To Her Completely Mixed Up Feelings About Marcus Flutie, The Intelligent And Mysterious Dreg Who Works His Way Into Her Heart Like A John Hughes For The Twenty First Century, Megan McCafferty Taps Into The Inherent Humor And Drama Of The Teen Experience This Poignant, Hilarious Novel Is Sure To Appeal To Readers Who Are Still Going Through It, As Well As Those Who Are Grateful That They Don T Have To Go Back And Grow Up All Over Again Absolutely loved it Jessica Darling has earned herself a spot on my list of favourite heroines She is smart and clever, witty and sarcastic, thinks too much about everything and anything I can relate to that pretty well and despite her pessimistic attitude and her quick judgement of others, I couldn t help but like her I feel like basically everything has been said about this series already, you either like it or you don t Despite having heard not so good things about the later instalments, I ordered Second Helpings right away The only thing that annoyed me a bit in this one was the cliff hanger like ending, but because I loved the book so much, I decided to be forgiving about it.A few notes on the German translation After a while, I got used to it, but at the beginning the frequent use of English words like prom Although we don t have proms in Germany the way they have them in the US, there is still a German word for it felt weird Also, what was the thing about the abbreviations of the swear words Scotty uses Until now I can only guess what Vau Ess yes, that are the letters VS, but actually written how you pronounce them is supposed to mean.And because I can t really pinpoint my feelings reading this wonderful book, I have decided to post the titles of my playlist I think go best together with the story.1 3 Doors Down Here Without You2 The Subways I Want To Hear What You ve Got To Say3 Snow Patrol Set Fire To The Third Bar4 Oasis Roll With It5 Train Hey Soul Sister6 KT Tunstall Suddenly I See7 Amy MacDonald Run8 Linkin Park Numb9 Oasis Stop Crying Your Heart Out10 Snow Patrol Crack The Shutters 11 3 Doors Down Kryptonite12 The Cranberries Just My Imagination Oh boy So its, uh, been a while since I ve written a review Sorry about that everyone College and whatnot has kept me busy So what is it about Sloppy Firsts that inspired me to write Well, I loved it, for one Look at that rating Five stars, baby And that s not because its a groundbreaking work of literature, but because its funny, true, and smart This is one of these books I ve always heard about, but not one I actually ever saw myself reading First of all its old Lizzie McGuire was still on when this came out and I did tempt myself into imagining a few of the characters in Hilary Duff s eccentric outfits Secondly, I misinterpreted the title and tone of the summary I thought it was going to be about a teenage girl s sex life Which it was of course, but it was smarter than I would have originally gave it credit for And thirdly, this is the sort of book that requires an explanation I have a snooty, English major reputation to uphold I can t let people see myself reading chick lit le gasp I read this at my job, with the cover flat down on the desk If someone walked up that I knew, I would sit on it Alas, I really should be secure with myself..but I did recommend it to my friends Does that cancel out my previous embarrassment Anyway, Jessica Darling would have been my friend At least, I would like to think so She s sassy, smart, funny, but not intimidatingly perfect I have a feeling we would laugh about the same thing, get annoyed at the same things Some reviewers found her annoying and to that I say, Well, duh She is a teenage girl As a teenage girl myself, I can say that we pretty much are all annoying For one thing, it is all too easy to forget that high school is pretty much a universal experience It is easier to mope and whine about life, believing you are the only one in the world who is this lonely It s too easy to forget that almost everything you ve experienced, has already been experienced, and that almost everything you feel, has already been felt This book reminded me that I wasn t the only confused, lonely girl in high school I would be reading along, laughing and musing with Jessica, and stumble on a quote that pretty much sums up my exactly feelings I would pause, briefly wonder if McCafferty is a mind reading alien or some kind of genius or something, before finally deciding she was a perceptive woman who remembers what it is like to wander those locker studded hallways and not have a flying fuck of a clue Jessica seemed like she could have been an actual person She was a fully fleshed out characters, as was the majority of the cast Even the popular girls had their quirks which distinguished themselves from each other And Marcus Flutie..hot damn Plus the writing style, which mirrored journal entires focusing on Jessica s up and downs of the year, was extremely effective in conveying the story of Jessica s sixteenth year I enjoyed the main characters, and the characters that seemed to come in, then back out Because thats what life does People enter our lives and others leave them Overall, I m really glad I walked into Goodwill that day I went in expecting to buy a five dollar sweater and left with a great series to follow Thank you, Goodwill and your 1 paperbacks. Video full series review spoiler free the good stuff It hooked me, I couldn t put it down, it was very reminiscent of my high school experience, and I want to continue the series I enjoyed the nostalgia that is high school in the early 00s, and the diary format I can see why this book was an early staple in YA.And the not so bad It had a difficult start There is a LOT of teen speak and dated slang This book is set in the year 2000 and was a gooooooood dose of culture shock However, once I got used to her narrative voice I realized that yep, this is 100% an accurate portrayal of what high school was like back then.Because this was written and set in 2000, there are a lot of red flag topics that would never fly today There is SO MUCH slut shaming, fat shaming, and gay and racial stereotypes It s difficult to read that stuff since we re so attuned to it today, but back in 2000 I didn t even know what slut shaming was, let alone that it was a bad thing, so yes, this book is a product of it s time Because of this, I think younger readers will have a harder time getting into this book Older readers who were in high school during this time will probably relate and be glad of how far we ve come.I wasn t a fan of the main love interest for several reasons which boil down to either personal preferences or being too old for the games of high school luuuvvvvv There were aspects to the way the romance progressed that didn t feel fleshed out to me However, the love interest is an interesting character and brings about several positive changes in Jessica s life so I do like him as a character and I bet a lot of other readers would do a fair amount of swooning. Update 4 21 2010 After reading the sequel and thinking about Jessica for a while, I don t think I like her that much any A little too much negativity and snobbishness So take this review with a grain of salt.I have no idea why I haven t read this book before, because I certainly heard about it a lot The synopsis just didn t sound that special I suppose, because on the surface, Sloppy Firsts is just your regular run of the mill YA story about a smart 16 year old girl Jessica Darling , her relationship with her best friend who is away, her parents and cheerleader so called friends, her obsessions over boys, all in a diary format How many times have I read this before A million However, the difference here is the narrator Jessica is clever, athletic, sarcastic, super observant, prone to spaz attacks and lusty thoughts, but yet full of reason and self respect Her observations and comments about her family, friends and school mates are funny, although often a little mean spirited I have to add this after a little pondering.As an added bonus there is a bad boy To be honest, I am rather wary of those already, as they are just getting badder and badder, to an extent that they are simply jerks these days, but Marcus totally charmed the knickers off of me with his poetry, lip nipping and extremely high IQ And the fact that Jessica manages to push all THIS away with a firm hand just proves one time why I love and identify with her so much.The main negative about Sloppy First is its the setting up for the sequel ending It would have been nice to have a definite resolution.But this complaint aside, Sloppy Firsts is a funny in a sarcastic way read which I won t hesitate to recommend It s a bit raunchy for YA I think, it s written like an adult book about teens, so don t give it to your 12 year olds Otherwise, enjoy the ride I know now Jessica becomes a suckier and whinier person with each book. Re read 9 20 17 So upon re reading this forThrowback Thursday, my rating has gone down from 5 stars to 4 stars due to some pretty problematic elements that exist in this book slut shaming, slurs, cheating, etc These are things that I didn t notice back when I first read this book about a decade ago and tbh I m a little embarrassed that I have recommended this book to so many people since then WITH ALL THAT BEING SAID I still thoroughly enjoyed this book and I love Jessica and Marcus and even Bridget and Pierre I 100% will be carrying on with re reading the series, but I will make sure to go at them with a much critical eye now. Yep This is potentially the hardest review I ve ever written Why Because all I really want to do is vigorously pound on my keyboard with glee and happytears and EEEEEEE KLSA LFAWOPE 5jKOSAKOR WE 9 F S ASNKF WSETYW w t w %90 % 9 i 5m2 4ko56 2098305 U0264 JML ESAK PWAR WQ % NDVSDSDF Translation Holy Crap I ve found the Holy Grail of YA writing The kicker It isn t even YA And yet it is It s everything It s Jessica Darling I ve put off writing my review for Sloppy Firsts for a long time I don t even know what to say without falling so incredibly short of what this book deserves I hadn t even heard of this series prior to starting my blog I figured that it couldn t be THAT good if I hadn t even heard anything about it My friends, this series is a diamond in the rough The characters are so very distinct in all their own ways and mannerisms I m convinced that Megan Mc has fashioned Jessica from a real person Or perhaps she wrote her right off the pages Yes, that s it Jessica is so imperfectly perfectly written, that the words and paragraphs came together to form cells and skin and organs and hair and acne and she has jumped right out of the book and exists in our world today No one can just think of someone SO AWESOME and not have her walk amongst us I need this to be true so I can find her and make her my BFF Because we d get along that well I loved everything about every character Even the ones I hated Because Ms McCafferty has taken the time to develop each and every one of them Sara with her annoying quote unquote abuse and Len with his um and Scotty with hiswhatever it is that he does And Marcus Yes, Marcus I couldn t see what the hype about him was at first But I have seen the light Oh yes And it glitters like Mariah Carey The journal style writing makes it easy to become completely immersed into Jessica s internal cynicism and outlook on life Having been a cynical teenager ahem, and having never grown out of it , this speaks volumes to me There are so many quotes that have caused me to burst into laughter this never happens or made me write down a quote or 352 in my review journal And perhaps I ve contemplated getting one tattooed on me somewhere This is a series I think everyone should read It s a beautiful, hilarious, amazinngggg piece of work that has become my golden standard I m taking my time with this series, because I don t want it to ever, ever end Megan McCafferty is my hero. Since I had to explain to my wife that my latest reading excursion was not in fact a between the sheets adventure with multiple terms for male and female genitalia, I might have reached my erotica novel quota for the month of May and possibly June as well In case you haven t already figured it out, this is not erotica, nor is it even classified as romance But I was romantically involved with it all the same SLOPPY FIRSTS punched my two front teeth out and slapped me hard on the cheek It lifted my feet six inches off the ground, and turned me upside down Had I managed to offer the world a coherent thought or two, I probably would have followed it up with a giggle.Jessica Darling might have been the greatest thing to happen to my otherwise miserable existence She actually made me happy to be alive, and I even managed to smile for once in my dejected life She made me want to attempt night running and swoon over poetry and wander the hallowed halls of my youth aimlessly and have crushes on Spanish teachers and pretend that I had a big sister named Bethany who was so full of herself that her head was a ticking time bomb and run through malls and yes, it really was that fucking good.The voice was filled with sardonic poetry and wisdom and wit and charm, and she sounded older than she really was, even if her body had the developed pace of a kindergartner Whether it was Burke or Bridget or Marcus or Manda or Sara, I was hooked, lined, and snickered, and I found myself reeling in a big mouth bass.Whether I actually did or not is hard to say, but I found myself bouncing along the halls with my head held high and my corduroys on rye and a picture perfect wave across the sky helping me find my way home.If I really stop to think about it, I probably shouldn t have fallen in love with this novel, but you can t always choose what books you love, and in this case, I tried to say no, but I ended up saying yes Over and over and over again.Cross posted at Robert s Reads This was a really funny, feel good novel reminiscent of novels like Angus, Thongs and Full Frontal Snogging and other such hilariosity I d heard comparisons made between the two before but, I admit, I was reluctant to check it out, being sure that it would be unlikely to entertain me as much as Georgia Nicholson s journals However, I d say it s pretty fair to make positive comparisons between the two, it s just unfortunate that I keep reading how most people didn t enjoy the rest of the series as much as this first installment.Jessica Darling is a very amusing narrator, she is cynical, has insecurities, crushes and an insufferable family She reminded me of Georgia in many ways The main difference that stood out is that this book is much ruder in a funny way compared to Louise Rennison s pretty tame stories Like this where Jessica is asked to sign the yearbook of a fellow student who has a crush on her Pierre,I ve always admired your ability to conjugate a verb And I ll never forget the night I found out the true identity of The Black Elvis See you in French II A bientot,JessicaThe grin on his face was a mile wide It was as if I had written Pierre,I ve always admired your ability to fill out a pair of tightie whities And I ll never forget the night I found out that you know your way around a clitoris See you in my wettest, wildest dreams.Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir Jessica giggles It s just rude enough so that it stays funny and doesn t become ridiculous Oh yeah, and the other difference between this and the Georgia stories is that there are some serious issues in this book like death and family matters whereas, Georgia wouldn t know serious if it hit her in the face But, on the whole, if you re looking for something that is mostly mindless fun, you should read this book Just maybe be prepared for future disappointments or, like me, you could just plan to stop after book one. Megan McCafferty, you can t fool me Sloppy Firsts isn t a work of fiction It s McCafferty traveling back in time and stealing pages from my high school diary not the proper one I left behind for my mother and, okay, posterity because I had a heightened sense of self, but the real one I kept locked in my head, full of doubts, fears, hopes, wants, desires, and prejudices And yes, those desires were sexual even if I was not at the time.This is a book that I absolutely loved reading now and would ve loved reading then From the time Jessica Darling thinks Manda thinks that reading feminist manifestos makes up for her borderline ho bag behavior and refers to her as The Headmaster on page ten, I knew I was in book love MASH and Saved by the Bell references cemented it I don t know if I said the exact things Jessica says, but I could have said them McCafferty just nails Jessica s voice.So what s it about ME Kidding Although that was one of my reactions while reading.It s about 16 year old Jessica Darling, the brunette sheep of the family She s always felt left out of her blonde sister and mother s golden circle of Stepford perfection Her father though has always supported her, or rather, he s always supported her running track Like most girls her age, her real source of support is her best friend, Hope Unfortunately, Hope s family has just moved back to Tennessee This leaves Jessica socially adrift but not totally outcast during her vital sopho year Every year was vital according to my mother, but I digress Jess is in love with Paul Parlipiano, who obviously doesn t know she exists, but that s a minor concern A bigger problem is that she hasn t gotten her period in months.This is one of the areas in which this book would ve been such a comfort to the teen me I skipped my period all the time, but during 11th grade or Year 11 hi, Aussie friends , I didn t get my period from September to December and January to June Same for 12th grade I realized it after the fact, but I was so stressed during the school year that it basically stopped my cycle It came back with a vengeance in the summer though Of course I didn t tell my parents about it even though I was convinced my ovaries were dying and it was stressing me out even My best friends were who I went to, for this and everything.Jessica no longer has her best friend close by and is limited to one 60 minute phone call a week and daily emails This is where the generation divide shows because there are certain things, like her cycle, that Jessica doesn t discuss with Hope over email Nowadays, email and text are the standard methods of communication, even for friends who aren t separated by distance, and I d venture to say that there are less off limit topics.In her perpetual state of PMS, Jessica s sarcasm catches the eye of class dreg Marcus Flutie, or as I refer to him, Marcus fucking Flutie I won t even talk about his appearance Noelle, you think a ponytail is bad Try RED DREADS Marcus fucking Flutie is THAT guy the one who thinks he is too cool for school, but also God s gift Think an unattractive Jordan Catalano Sorry, I can t get over the dreads Now instead of being illiterate, imagine if Jordan Catalano was secretly a genius.Jordan Catalano his attractiveness a genius IQDo you know what that equals Jess Mariano, or as I refer to him, Jess fucking Mariano I couldn t stand him He s the guy who not only thinks he s cooler and smarter than everybody else, but also wholeheartedly believes it to be true Everything is about him, unless he decides that a girl is temporarily worthy Even the girl in question is a reflection of his ego because it s about getting her.Before reading Sloppy Firsts, I remember seeing Marcus Flutie s name on lists for Top YA Guys alongside the likes of Jonah Griggs, Tom Mackee, and Adam Wilde AS IF The girl in my book club who was gushing about Marcus Flutie when the book club pick was announced was suspiciously absent the night we discussed this book I love my book club because we have differing opinions ex I hated Miss Peregrine, some loved it, some were indifferent , but 8 out of 8 girls had the same reaction to him Marcus FUCKING Flutie However, what I loved about Marcus was how Jessica reacted to him, and how that changed in the beginning, middle, and end of the book Like the rest of the book, it felt honest Sloppy Firsts is a book that effortlessly takes you back to high school Luckily, Jessica will make you laugh much this time around This review appears on Young Adult Anonymous.