(((READ BOOK))) ⇮ ‭There's only two David Beckhams ☠ PDF eBook or Kindle ePUB free

I was having a conversation with a couple of friends recently about books, and one of them asked me to recommend something light and funny To my surprise, I found that I really couldn t it s been such a long time since I read something like that and enjoyed it The last time I attempted something along those lines, I ended up reading Nick Spalding s Fat Chance, which was without question one of the worst novels I ve ever bothered to finish.When I spotted John O Farrell s There s Only Two David Beckhams in the Inverness branch of Waterstones while I was away this weekend, however, I remembered how much I enjoyed some of his other novels and thought this might also be entertaining Plus, I m starting to get excited about Euro 16 now we ve had a wallchart up in our house for a week already and I ve booked the day off work for our game against Wales and this is a book about the England football team More specifically, it s about an England football team of the future that might just might be good enough to win the 2022 World Cup.When a relatively mediocre sports writer like, as his opposite number on another newspaper observes, a fan with a laptop than a journalist discovers something about the team that could be the biggest scoop of his life, he s torn Alfie could reveal the team s incredible secret and break the football story of the century but that would mean they re disqualified from the tournament on the eve of the final As an England fan, can he bring himself to scupper their chances The plot is essentially an absurd fantasy, so you do certainly need to suspend your disbelief for this one, but this didn t stop me from getting a lot of enjoyment from this book and I laughed out loud many times It s daft, yes, but it s also observant and touching, particularly when it comes to the role of football in Alfie s relationship with his son Tom While there is to the story than football, however, I certainly think it s fair to say that you probably need, as I do, to like football a lot to get the most from this book, as a lot of the funniest jokes rely on you having some degree of football knowledge and a love for the game It s smartly written and does a fantastic job of capturing the ups and downs mostly downs, let s face it of following the England teamMy only real gripe is that Alfie s world seems to be one in which only men like football His former partner leaves him partly over his devotion to the game, his flatmate dumps his girlfriend because she whines about having to watch a game at the pub, etc etc I appreciate that this is largely a book about men and male relationships, which is fine and O Farrell does this very well, but it s possible to explore that without the women being either long suffering, sensible types who think liking football is childish, or whinging girlfriends who can t put up with 90 minutes of the national team on television once in a while In fairness, this was a very small element of the book, but it was sufficiently noticeable for me, as a woman who likes football and is every bit as unambitious and easily distracted as Alfie, too I can never identify with the smartly decisive women who always seem to be being brisk and capable in books like this to be a little grating.This is only a tiny issue, though Overall, There s Only Two David Beckhams is a light, easy, feelgood read It s extremely funny and has plenty of pace it really did keep me turning the pages John O Farrell is a clever, observant writer and this is the perfect warm up read before Euro 16 kicks off. (((READ BOOK))) ↲ ‭There's only two David Beckhams ⇲ Ever Wasted Hours Debating Your All Time England XI Well Now It S And The Discussion Is Finally Over, England Have Eleven Players As Good As Any Of Them The Unbeatable National Team Have Reached The Final Of The Qatar World Cup But One Journalist Is Convinced There Is A Scandalous Secret Behind England S Incredible Form His Lifetime S Dream Is To See The Three Lions Win The World Cup But If He Pursues And Exposes The Shocking Truth, His Beloved England Could Be Sent Home In DisgraceSuddenly This Is Much Than England Vs Germany It S Love Vs Duty, It S Truth Vs Happiness The Pressure Of The Penalty Shoot Out Is Nothing Compared To This There S Only Two David Beckhams Is John O Farrell S Love Letter To Football Part Detective Story, Part Sports Memoir, Part Satire On The Whole Corrupt FIFA Circus It Just Made The Final For The Funniest Football Fiction Ever Written Brilliant Over the Moon On cloud nine Definitely a game of two halves and extra time, of course and penalties, obviously 2022, bring it on Football has rarely been successfully covered in fiction, and unfortunately this book was no exception The reasons offered are normally along the lines of fictional stories rarely improving on the natural drama of a sporting contest, but in this case it was a sense of humour that I just don t share, and found it really tired Slapstick football can work with funny characters as in Mike Bassett, England Manager but not with this cast.The plot, a ruse to write about England getting to a World Cup final as wish fulfillment, is about a mystery discovery that a tabloid journalist has found in football that threatens to postpone the final involving England, alongside a narrative about separated parents where the dad is trying to strengthen the father son bond But much of the story is about football matches, whether those of his son, on the TV at the pub, or at the stadium This is a serious constraint as the descriptions have to be ever outlandish in order to be merit inclusion, such as Raheem Sterling collecting a rebound from a penalty at the halfway line Few well taken finishes from through balls here Unfortunately, the rather giddy prose adds to the impression of a story that is a bit immature.The story was dull, but it was the humour that made this an utter slog This book had clearly been written as a comedy but unfortunately most of the jokes were unoriginal and lazy there was the kissing of a woman in a Burqa in Qatar, whose coins with squiggles on meant they had to redo the toss wittiness aside, seemingly they first encountered this problem in the final match and Americans talking about Soccerball There were jokes about players giving than 110%, saying done fantastic and players diving It reminded me of the annual Wimbledon Mock the Week where comedians laugh at the women s groans when playing shots do people still find it funny after the first time they ve heard it I wondered why Tony Blair was named faithfully when he appeared only to see his B liar moniker later on the only surprise was that Gary Lineker featured but didn t s himself on the pitch, which I d have thought was fertile ground pun intended.There were other annoyances, including the use of asterisks for unfunny jokes unworthy of featuring in the prose itself, and the constant invented dialogues of hypothetical commentators, but the following passage opened one of the Chapters, which I feel perfectly encapsulates the tone of the book It doesn t seem to fit naturally into the story either, but if you find it funny, I guess you ll love this book In 1870, the world s first international football match took place between England and Scotland I wonder if a couple of England fans went to the pub afterwards and reflected on the merits of the team they had just seen So tell me, who would be in your All Time England football team What do you mean, my All Time England football team There s only ever been one England football team Eleven players in eleven positions That s it Hmm you re right This conversations a bit of a non starter isn t it John O Farrell 2015 THERE S ONLY TWO DAVID BECKHAMSLondon Black Swan 4 out of 5 stars The sleeve reads, Ever wasted hours debating your All Time England XI Well, now it s 2022 and the discussion is finally over England have eleven players as good as any of them The unbeatable national team have reached the final of the Qatar World Cup But one journalist is convinced there is a scandalous secret behind England s incredible form His lifetime s dream is to see the Three Lions win the World Cup But if he pursues and exposes the shocking truth, his beloved England could be sent home in disgrace Suddenly this is much than England v Germany it s Love v Duty, it s Truth v Happiness The pressure of the penalty shoot out is nothing compared to this There s Only Two David Beckhams is John O Farrell s love letter to football part detective story, part sports memoir, part satire on the whole corrupt FIFA circus Big fan of O Farrell and his brand of comedy writing I am and this one is short of funnies You don t have to get or understand football for this You don t even have to like football which I don t for this either The story though strays into a bit of sci fi and got a wee bit too far fetched However, how O Farrell hooks in real life people into this fictional story is and was pretty genius JohnOFarrell TheresOnlyTwoDavidBeckhams JohnOFarrellTheresOnlyTwoDavidBeckhams Football is something I absolutely loathe, particularly the culture it engenders in its over paid, pampered, melodramatic professional players who seem to dive and roll around at the brush of a sleeve as well as the tribal violence it can promote Having said that, this book, described as part love letter to football and part detective story is, surprisingly enjoyable, and, in all honesty, akin to a political satire I have read and enjoyed O Farrell before and am familiar with his television work which accounts for why I handed over my 25p at the hospital for this Any other author would have been ignored Warmer and wittier than Nick Hornby s laddish Fever Pitch this takes the perennial pub discussion of who would line up in the all time England squad evidently played in England but not here, we might end up discussing our all time Welsh rugby squad and adds an imaginative and playful twist Set during the run up to the already infamous 2022 Qatar World Cup, journalist Alfie uncovers the truth behind New Labour s investment in grass roots football and how FIFA, in typical Bond villain mode work to counteract it.Packed with affectionate jokes, even if you don t like football and I certainly don t this is well worth reading. This was fun, funny, and slight Some good tropes on being a fan, and some funny daft observations on British football, especially in the set up I don t think the Carlton Palmer references might give this universal appeal I think, though John O F could have been a little braver with the plot, and perhaps make of a Hornby impact. I enjoyed this book, a lot In fact, I don t ever remember laughing so much while reading, than any book by Hornby, than Look Who s Back This one has been very entertaining and very very funny However, despite it 110% making it into my favorite list, I couldn t give it 5 stars since I had a couple of issues with it First of all, it might seem petty, but the fact any woman mentioned in this book is clearly characterized as not liking football as if it was the only think that matters is both annoying and insulting There are millions of women football fans out there, they are just as passionate and crazy and knowledgeable as the men I m sure O Farrell didn t mean to be insulting, he just over looked that s how guys are Especially in England But so much thought has gone into this book, really he could ve noticed and change that Other than that, I was actually underwhelmed by most of the surprises and shocking turns Only one caught me off guard completely, and it was a twist I really did not appreciate, even though it ended up giving a great pay off Also, at times, the reality suspense here just didn t work as well as it would have were this a movie, which this book can very easily be adapted to and I d be happy to see it happening It could be that I m overly sensitive, having studied screen writing, but , some jokes which were based on visuals fell flat, they were obvious and quite banal to be read but would work amazing when seen and acted properly The fact the book was so much movie able was what makes it so great You can see O Farrell has respect to modern story telling Everything is action packed, everything is driven by the hero having to make decisions and act, instead of wonder and ponder and explain Hardly anything is this book isn t organic to plot development, or is down to writer s will This was also a perfect book for me since I m both English and German, and of course of course the book is full of references to the huge footie history between the two clubs we want our 5th star back England However, I m German 2.5 4 than English 0.5 4 , and my football loyalty definitely lies with the current World Champions, so maybe that stopped me from giving this the perfect rating as well Bottom line this book is very English no matter how you look at it It s hilarious, and the humour is so British my brain actually starting narrating some lines in the voices of Eric Idle and Michael Palin It also goes beyond football itself and has some nice thought on the issue of nationality itself I also very much enjoyed the fact this book basically has no romance in it We do have a family, and one date is mentioned But here the love story is between a man and a game. John O Farrell is a man after my own heart, a sports journalist who loves a good, clean game but is obviously frustrated by the politics and cynical exploitation which has taken over football This is a humorous, satirical book which makes you laugh out loud in places, particularly if you can appreciate the in jokes The one thing which pushes things a bit too far is the idea that David Beckham could ever be picked for a World XI of the best footballers ever But, as John later explains, there is a reason for everything a well thought out, entertaining and easy read. Surprisingly enjoyable This is actually a fun little book, a quick read Ok it s a bit silly and unreal but that just seems to make it enjoyable It is all about football, so won t appeal to everyone, and it is very English, with an English humour I read this whilst the European Championship was on, which also added to the atmosphere It is not for everyone, but I would recommend it, particularly to football fans.