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FREE E-PUB ë You Suck ⛅ Being Undead Sucks Literally Just Ask C Thomas Flood Waking Up After A Fantastic Night Unlike Anything He S Ever Experienced, He Discovers That His Girlfriend, Jody, Is A Vampire And Surprise Now He S One, Too For Some Couples, The Whole Biting And Blood Thing Would Have Been A Deal Breaker But Tommy And Jody Are In Love, And They Vow To Work Through Their Issues But Word Has It That The Vampire Who Initially Nibbled On Jody Wasn T Supposed To Be Recruiting Even Worse, Tommy S Erstwhile Turkey Bowling Pals Are Out To Get Him, At The Urging Of A Blue Dyed Las Vegas Call Girl Named Duh Blue And That Really Sucks 3.5 stars You Suck A Love Story is a hilarious romp through San Francisco The book focuses on Jody and Tommy, two new fledgling vampires and their rather unconventional love Jody bites Tommy and makes him a vampire He is not too happy with his new condition, but is easily distracted by Jody and the allure of wild monkey sex with her.Christopher Moore s vampires have interesting powers They can turn to mist when necessary, which helps them get out of trouble or causes trouble They burn in the sunlight or with UV ray exposure During daylight, they sleep like the dead.The attraction of this book was the unique cast of characters Everyone in this book is crazy in their own special way Each character or set of characters gets their own little subplot, guaranteed to make you laugh Parts of the book are narrated by Abby von Normal, a teenage wannabe nosferatu and sometimes goth Abby is Tommy s minion, his daylight helper She is infatuated with Tommy, and would do anything to become a vampire In fact, she thinks she is a vampire after Jody takes a drink from her Abby s diary contains astute observations, a little bit of teen rebellion, and a lot of great new vocabulary like endorken Abby s friend Jared adds some humor to the mix He is a gay teenager living with his parents who are in denial Other cast characters include Chet the really big shaved cat who makes a rather large appearance in the next book Tommy s night shift friends from the Safeway store the Animals add even comic relief as they cash in their money from the previous book and run off to Vegas They return with the Blue, a blue prostitute with rather large silicon implants She manages to service the boys and steal all of their money Jody and Tommy continue to try to evade Jody s maker Elijah They had him encased in bronze but he manages to escape Much mayhem ensues.I truly enjoyed this series Each book can be read on its own, or even out of order It doesn t really matter If you need a book to cheer you up and make you laugh, then this is the book for you. First of all, I would normally never even think to read this book But as I was looking at the clearance rack, a kid, ie teenager, approached me Hey, do you like vampires I was disturbed how unfazed I was with the completely random question Sure Slightly wary Have you heard of Moore He s a vampire now That answers a lot of questions Michael Moore I m riffling books hoping he ll go away No, not that crazy one, this is a Christopher Moore He s hilarious and has his own cult started The clarification didn t really help gain any brownie points for Christopher Moore Ummmm, that s cool Looking for exit.The kid picks up a book on the clearance rack Try him You ll love it If you like vampires, you ll LOVE this book I read, You SuckA Love Story Is he high or something This looks like a a suckASS book OK, thanks, I ll give it a try I bought the book, and now I m so grateful that the kid decided that I was the vampire loving type of chick.It is impossible to completely classify this book So when you see the basic description of A love story on the cover, that s the best way to explain it It s a love story of vampires that is hysterically funny I can t even begin to try and explain why it s funny, so just read it You ll start out being a little stunned, then you ll giggle, then you ll just laugh continuously.Whatever you do, DO NOT READ THE LAST SENTENCE OF THE BOOK UNTIL IT S TIME It s a special sentence that will break you for a few days, but you need the context of the book first.My favourite characters Abby Normal and Chet, the huge shaved cat. Another very funny book from Christopher Moore, this one the middle book in his vampire trilogy Not as outrageous or imaginative as the other two, this is still vintage Moore with his unique way of dealing with a well worn fantasy subject.Moore may have thought of this trilogy a long time ago, and so he may not be a part of the glutted market or he is but not even his comedic talent can completely offset the rush to vampirism that has plagued our books for a while. Funny, with some definitely quotable moments However, for me, Moore s vampire series is the weakest of his work That s not an insult I still enjoy them and definitely snicker out loud in ways that make those around me pick up their things and stealthily move away from the crazy person, but they re a little too wink, wink, nudge, nudge sometimes in their humor What impresses me with Moore is that, often among all of the wacky chaos, he can sneak up on you with a beautiful turn of phrase or moment that catches you off guard The scene where Jody feeds off of a man with terminal cancer is beautiful and touching without being maudlin Don t worry that there are too many moments like this, though, as there s plenty of Moore s trademark heinous fuckery most foul Cross posted at This Insignificant Cinder